your shadow is very tight

so the transition to a partially cooked and totally yummy indian diet has resulted in an evening of explosive poos and violent vomiting. i had been feeling bloated and yucky, but chalked it up to so many new things, environments, foods, air, time zone etc. and that i was 'adapting'. but apparently 1.5 years on a raw diet DOES clean the system! so i went to bed feeling gross and was awoken with nausea and the EXPULSION OF ALL THE FOOD I HAVE EATEN SINCE ARRIVING IN INDIA. luckily my wonderful friends and hosts have ayurvedic home remedies and big huge hearts, and so anita rubbed coconut oil mixed with asofeidia on my gurgling tummy, and gave me crushed jaggery with nutmeg to stop the looseness of the stool, as it were. and wow, after the puke of all pukes, i felt sooo much better and slept like a little goatey (like the cute trio of goats who live outside the housing complex).

so the next day was spent recovering, eating only fruits and drinking lots of water, i took little walks outside and wrote in my journal on the bench facing the housing complex. it gave me lots of time to think about what i'm doing here, what i want from all this.

one of the neighbours and her little girls, vidhi and sidhi walked by and we chatted, she asking the question of all questions - what are you doing here? i told her about abhivyakti and bangalore and my plans for yoga and meditation and she said the prophetic words, 'your shadow is very tight'. ah this sounds very true, what does it mean? i asked. "means you are very busy here in india." ack! that is not what i want! hence the journal writing and the appreciation for this 'day off'. day off of what exactly??!!

so when i told nitin and anita about her observation, they said they'd never heard of 'your shadow is very tight' - turns out i had misunderstood! she said your SCHEDULE is very tight! they say ssschedoole here. but that is even worse! this has to change! i don't want to repeat my nasty habit of filling up my thoughts and time with appointments, rendez-vous, busy-ness. so the sick day was a good one. it brought me to this.

so next, is to mumbai for a few days, then i'll take a week to either go to goa (beach!) and then make my way to the art of living ashram in bangalore. i am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to this. i want to sink into it. let time take a different dimension. see where that takes me.

so as we listen to kelly clarkson and the smells of fresh roti tickle my nose,(but not my taste buds, oh no, we are stricly raw for now!), i will sign off...

from the land of ridiculously cute children screaming hellos on their bikes....

good morning india

i've been in india less than a week, and i feel i have landed into a wonderful life! so priviledged to be living with my friends, nitin and anita and their 14-year old daughter sakhi who is super company, as part of their family here in nashek, north of mumbai.

jet lag has been real, what with waking up at 1:30 in the morning and just wishing so hard to get some sleep, and then being wired but slightly confused all the day... this is receeding and after going to the Himalayan shop for ayurvedic goodies, i feel both my hair (dry, damaged) and my conscious state (sleep tea) with be the better for it!

it has been sooo exciting so far, living in the present (how long will you be here in nashek? don't know exactly...) and knowing that the future is going to be oh so interesting (bangalore in february, art of living ashram...), but here are some highlights, insights, sunlights:

went to do pooja and celebrate the end of a fast (21 fridays in a row, to laxshmi, goddess of wealth) with anita's women's friends who were wearing their beautiful saris and laughing and laughing;

next morning doing pranayam with these same women but in their sweat pants and salwars, with two or three of them giving instruction, the boom boom of a gymkana (that's right, a gym) downstairs and the buzz-honk-kapow of early morning traffic outside ~ this morning we ended with hibiscus tea, with lemongrass, cumin, cinnamon and lime;

did a presentation to abhivyakti (the organization nitin and anita founded and run) on santropol roulant - the work, reflection and the meanings gleaned ~ and found that our Eco-cycle and learning cycle ideas are alive and well here, but in a different cultural context (the Ashrams of learning, and the Lifecycle model);

met Mona, a wonderful woman architect who invited me to her women's book club (wow! what awesome young professional women!) who were talking about one soul, many lives and regression theory, and today i will go to her practice to look at designs and brainstorm about urban planning here in nashek, the 5th fastest growing city in india;

spent sunday at anita and nitin's family's farm (tomato plants! wheat!) with 24 members of the family and then shared a feast and family meeting; the 1 hour drive up was totally WILD and fun with pilgrims walking walking walking, their orange flags flapping in the wind, women carrying their goods confidently on their heads, colourful saris and outfits, many with no shoes. there were horses, pigs, and Goods Carrier trucks with "Blow Horn" written in all colours on the back, just in case you had forgotten that the ONLY way of driving in india is if you first announce yourself by horn, then press on the gas!

met a documentary film-making husband and wife who are professors of communications at the Tata School of Social Work in Mumbai; abhivyakti was showing their film SheWrite which is about 4 women poets in Tamil Nadu who write about women and sexuality and being persecuted for it. they are very Brave and the film was a courageous intepretation of their poetry but also about freedom of expression~ the discussion afterwards with the audience about the film and the issues of censorship and sexuality was a very interesting mix of talking about the issues in and aesthetic of the film...

all this and so much more, including my own yoga on the roof of the housing complex, with pastel colours of morning and the harsh smell of burning things to bring in a brand new day ...and time to myself... but wow, what a glimpse into people's lives here! and such generosity!

Super V's Book Club!

OK these are books that I've recently read! Wow!

Race Against Time, Stephen Lewis (amazing, lucid, a call to action, he calls it like it is and does not mince words)

Oryx and Crake, Margaret Atwood (holy krykie! what a story! i ploughed through it! a plausible world, not sooo far away...)

The Art of Pilgrimmage, Phil Cousineau (yes! it is a pilgrimmage i'm going on)

Lighthousekeeping, Jeanette Winterson (a wonderful world, fantastique! full of myth and storytelling and love and intrigue ~ and lighthouse culture)

Sky Burial: an epic love story of Tibet, Xinran (author of the Good Women of China) ~ what a story, time changes, she goes to tibet to join the army to find out what happened to her husband and lives a nomadic life in tibet for 30 years, never loses faith, incredible)

Dreams of the Peaceful Dragon ~ a Journey Through Bhutan, Katie Hickman (what a journey, through the isolated east of Bhutan with a cast of characters and unbelievable nature)

The Broker, John Grisham ( the fastest read in the west! it totally caught me and i couldn't put it down. it'll probably be a movie)

what i'm bringing with me to India
Tea and Pomegranates: a memoir of food, family and Kashmir by Nazneen Sheikh and A Fortune Teller Told Me: earthbound travels in the far east, by Tiziano Terzani and A Guide for the Perplexed by EF Schumacher!

currently reading
Thomas Merton's Seven Storey Mountain
Henri Nouwen's Lifesigns: Intimacy, Fecundity, and Ecstacy in Christian Perspective
BKS Iyengar's Light on Life: the Yoga Journey to Wholeness, Inner Peace and Ultimate Freedom (ya!)

remembering Rodrigo

my friend rodrigo died yesterday morning of pancreatic cancer, 4 days before his 36th birthday.
i've know rodrigo since we were 14; he used to really piss of mr. peters, our grade 9 english teacher, who once threw a desk at him, then asked him to leave class. not sure who should have left really, mr peters or rodrigo.

rod called me from newfoundland one day 4 years ago, out of the blue saying he HAD to talk to me. i had no idea why, so we made an appointment and he came to santropol roulant, where I was the executive director. i showed him around, we talked and talked and he said that he worked all year to spend two weeks holiday with his family and what was that all about - all that pain for 2 weeks of happiness?

he looked at me gravely, "i have to change my life; i want to volunteer here".

so he did! he quit his job as a lawyer (yay!), and took a year to re-group, did meals-on-wheels deliveries and volunteered at events, talked to lots of pretty girls at the roulant... met a whole new community. he then found a job with a smaller law firm, and we saw a little less of him, but he still came to all the parties...

i interviewed him once, it was for our “Organic Evaluation” project in which we were asking volunteers, clients, neighbours and staff what they felt really worked at Santropol Roulant and when they felt their involvement had made a difference. rod kept saying he was surprised and kind of honoured that I’d asked him, that his experience and opinion was important enough that we should go for coffee together and take time out to talk in depth like this. it was one of the most illuminating conversations we’d ever had and we left reeling in delight, with new ideas and a certain affirmation that what we had exchanged and shared was very important.

that is what always stood out for me about rodrigo ~ along with a tough persona laced with that mischievous smile, was a deep vulnerability and tender tender heart.

ever since grade 9, throughout our time at mcgill and as adults in montreal, we had what seems like a lifetime flirtation with each other making fun, play, making light and we could also go into the dark and difficult, the stuff of the soul. i felt he put up a protective wall with his sharp and witty remarks and critiques, but in the end, rod and i usually talked about Love.

rodrigo, so full and Life and Verve, took an immense risk in changing the course of his life ~ with that crazy call from his cell phone in newfoundland ~ and I am really honoured that I was witness and participant in it. he contributed his brilliant energy and mind to a whole community as a volunteer at Santropol Roulant, and to my own life in our 20 year friendship. we dipped in an out of each others lives, and i can only assume that this will continue.

he takes with him all that he gave and all that he learned in his 36 years, and if we believe in karma, he will be starting from a brave new place in his next lifetime.

Rod's obituary in the Ottawa Citizen:

http://www.legacy.com/Link.asp?Id=LS16292724X

pilgrim's progress

my intention is quite simple: to engage in conversation and contemplation with a diversity of people, organizations, social entrepreneurs and communities who are doing transformational work; explore with them certain themes that i've come to through the canadian context, and new themes and questions that emerge as i go ~ and to write about it, share it, celebrate it.

the purpose of this trip is to put in context the work i have been doing locally in Canada with work that is happening in other parts of the world .....

i am now ready to step out of the local and specific and see it in its global context. as the threads of my inquiry emerge, i would love to keep in touch with you for two reasons - the first being to bounce ideas off you in terms of the emergent themes, and the second to connect with people you think would be a good fit for this kind of interaction and engagement.

so feel free to contact me ~ let's be in conversation! there are so many themes that are already emerging (evolving leaderships and leaderfulness, collective entrepreneurship and community learning, social and individual networks and new forms of family ~ building on the Extending Families idea on the blog but aslo in ascent magazine... http://www.santropolroulant.org/images/ascent25-pg36[3].pdf)

two words that are meaning something very to me recently are Practice and Service..... and
a BIG part of this trip is to also really deepen my own practice, yoga, breathing and meditation - to really integrate this into my life, to show up for practice (and be there for the team! go team V!)

i'll explore the Service one, too.. just not now... i'm going to do some yoga!

viaje en mexico

back from a week in mexico and it hit me THAT I'M NOT GOING HOME, to montreal, that is. i'm staying here in toronto with my parents, at their place, feeling very temporary. i was suddenly missing that feeling of returning home to friends, settling into my space the way i knew it, and being part of a collective energy.

i guess this is the part of the Transition that makes one feel like one is in transition!

mexico was really amazing, with 24 family members from age 5-75 to talk to, eat with (soo much guacamole!), and simply be with. lots of sun, sand, smiles. we explored the mayan ruins in tullum and chichen itza, went snorkeling in xel-ha (AMAZING fish, sting rays, really! i saw them! i swam over them! i've never been so close to such unbelievable fish) and lots of time to disappear over yonder to the wild side of the beach with its wild waves and rough nature. i found a lot of alone time to do yoga, breathing and meditation. still have a busy mind, but it's calming down noticeably!

liddy had told me that this would be a strange time for travel, and indeed i keep thinking i'll have a ticket soon, but it has not yet worked out that i have one in my hands. i'm ready to leave next week. i will leave after the full moon passes, as i generally feel like moving after She does her thing!

Extending Families

There is a photograph on the wall at Santropol Roulant of an older man at his front door, which stands at the end of a long, grey hallway. He laughs and watches a young woman who reaches into a bright red knapsack filled with hot meals. She looks straight at him; they are laughing together. The newspaper article with which this photo appeared – about “shut-ins” needing help in the winter – does not accompany the photograph. We discarded it. It was the wrong story.

To the journalist, an elderly bachelor in low-income housing receiving meals-on-wheels was a sentimental story. To a social worker, he is a patient in need of healthcare administered by professionals. As a statistic, he represents a growing trend of isolated urban elderly. As a person, M. Lachance* was funny and warm and wouldn’t let you leave until you had discussed last week’s hockey scores.

He died suddenly in hospital. His sister, with whom we had previously been unacquainted, called to let us know. She thanked us for the way in which we were in her brother’s life over the last four years. “He had so many people in his life,” she said, a little surprised.

What is extraordinary is the way M. Lachance touched the lives of hundreds of young people who volunteered or worked at Santropol Roulant over the years he received our meals. He was known - and he was loved.
M. Lachance was not a “recipient” of a meal service, he was the catalyst for a whole community of young people (and the young at heart) to create a new kind of community.
His gift to us was to invite us each to bring the best of ourselves forward and create a Santropol Roulant.

The work we do at Santropol Roulant is part of an emerging narrative about family, connection and the ties that bind. These are not the traditional ties through marriage, bloodlines, and obligatory or contractual responsibilities. A new set of relationships is forming between unlikely people, between strangers who touch one another’s lives – and become lifelines.

Vanessa Reid began her love affair with Santropol Roulant in 1995 delivering meals by bike while studying architecture at McGill University. After working in India, she landed back in Montreal finding her roots at, and her community through, the Roulant as executive director from 2001-2005. The love affair continues….

*name has been changed

a version of this piece was first published in ascent magazine, Spring 2005. www.ascentmagazine.com and this version is one of 12 Harvesting Histories stories in the Santropol Roulant 2006 Agenda book! www.santropolroulant.org