remembering Rodrigo

my friend rodrigo died yesterday morning of pancreatic cancer, 4 days before his 36th birthday.
i've know rodrigo since we were 14; he used to really piss of mr. peters, our grade 9 english teacher, who once threw a desk at him, then asked him to leave class. not sure who should have left really, mr peters or rodrigo.

rod called me from newfoundland one day 4 years ago, out of the blue saying he HAD to talk to me. i had no idea why, so we made an appointment and he came to santropol roulant, where I was the executive director. i showed him around, we talked and talked and he said that he worked all year to spend two weeks holiday with his family and what was that all about - all that pain for 2 weeks of happiness?

he looked at me gravely, "i have to change my life; i want to volunteer here".

so he did! he quit his job as a lawyer (yay!), and took a year to re-group, did meals-on-wheels deliveries and volunteered at events, talked to lots of pretty girls at the roulant... met a whole new community. he then found a job with a smaller law firm, and we saw a little less of him, but he still came to all the parties...

i interviewed him once, it was for our “Organic Evaluation” project in which we were asking volunteers, clients, neighbours and staff what they felt really worked at Santropol Roulant and when they felt their involvement had made a difference. rod kept saying he was surprised and kind of honoured that I’d asked him, that his experience and opinion was important enough that we should go for coffee together and take time out to talk in depth like this. it was one of the most illuminating conversations we’d ever had and we left reeling in delight, with new ideas and a certain affirmation that what we had exchanged and shared was very important.

that is what always stood out for me about rodrigo ~ along with a tough persona laced with that mischievous smile, was a deep vulnerability and tender tender heart.

ever since grade 9, throughout our time at mcgill and as adults in montreal, we had what seems like a lifetime flirtation with each other making fun, play, making light and we could also go into the dark and difficult, the stuff of the soul. i felt he put up a protective wall with his sharp and witty remarks and critiques, but in the end, rod and i usually talked about Love.

rodrigo, so full and Life and Verve, took an immense risk in changing the course of his life ~ with that crazy call from his cell phone in newfoundland ~ and I am really honoured that I was witness and participant in it. he contributed his brilliant energy and mind to a whole community as a volunteer at Santropol Roulant, and to my own life in our 20 year friendship. we dipped in an out of each others lives, and i can only assume that this will continue.

he takes with him all that he gave and all that he learned in his 36 years, and if we believe in karma, he will be starting from a brave new place in his next lifetime.

Rod's obituary in the Ottawa Citizen:

http://www.legacy.com/Link.asp?Id=LS16292724X