your shadow is very tight

so the transition to a partially cooked and totally yummy indian diet has resulted in an evening of explosive poos and violent vomiting. i had been feeling bloated and yucky, but chalked it up to so many new things, environments, foods, air, time zone etc. and that i was 'adapting'. but apparently 1.5 years on a raw diet DOES clean the system! so i went to bed feeling gross and was awoken with nausea and the EXPULSION OF ALL THE FOOD I HAVE EATEN SINCE ARRIVING IN INDIA. luckily my wonderful friends and hosts have ayurvedic home remedies and big huge hearts, and so anita rubbed coconut oil mixed with asofeidia on my gurgling tummy, and gave me crushed jaggery with nutmeg to stop the looseness of the stool, as it were. and wow, after the puke of all pukes, i felt sooo much better and slept like a little goatey (like the cute trio of goats who live outside the housing complex).

so the next day was spent recovering, eating only fruits and drinking lots of water, i took little walks outside and wrote in my journal on the bench facing the housing complex. it gave me lots of time to think about what i'm doing here, what i want from all this.

one of the neighbours and her little girls, vidhi and sidhi walked by and we chatted, she asking the question of all questions - what are you doing here? i told her about abhivyakti and bangalore and my plans for yoga and meditation and she said the prophetic words, 'your shadow is very tight'. ah this sounds very true, what does it mean? i asked. "means you are very busy here in india." ack! that is not what i want! hence the journal writing and the appreciation for this 'day off'. day off of what exactly??!!

so when i told nitin and anita about her observation, they said they'd never heard of 'your shadow is very tight' - turns out i had misunderstood! she said your SCHEDULE is very tight! they say ssschedoole here. but that is even worse! this has to change! i don't want to repeat my nasty habit of filling up my thoughts and time with appointments, rendez-vous, busy-ness. so the sick day was a good one. it brought me to this.

so next, is to mumbai for a few days, then i'll take a week to either go to goa (beach!) and then make my way to the art of living ashram in bangalore. i am REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to this. i want to sink into it. let time take a different dimension. see where that takes me.

so as we listen to kelly clarkson and the smells of fresh roti tickle my nose,(but not my taste buds, oh no, we are stricly raw for now!), i will sign off...

from the land of ridiculously cute children screaming hellos on their bikes....