sacred kiss of chaos

Lying on this rooftop with the roar of the Arabian Sea seeping through my every pore. Under the luminescence of the fulling moon, the stars shyly make their imprint on the velvet sky. My back is warm against the suntoasted cement; I am swimming in the warmth within and around me.

The ocean was wild and voluptuous this evening, thick waves crashing shorewards and spiralling backwards into pirouettes of foam and splash. I floated and swam and left my body to powerful rhythm, pulling and cycling me up and down, in a luscious dance. The water’s surface mirroring the soft pink and lilac of sunset, liquid beauty, changing in every moment into a canvass of supreme mystery ~ what are these patterns, these colours, this changing palette of sky and water…

I felt completely embraced by the lull and lush of the heaving water. I am part of this creature; I am IN this water and I AM this water. And I felt elated to be so connected with, to be truly part of this element, my surroundings, myself. Being in one’s element. Singing to the setting sun and the mountain of cloud descending into evening.

And now on this roof, with the moon in her glory of light and shadow.

I relish the sweetness of a still moment in this country where the sacred kisses chaos and turns our insides out ~ and yet the sacred kiss of chaos leads to urgent conversations with newfound soulmates about love, unconditional, pure, connection and caring, and to this feeling of having found that part of myself that lay dormant - the love, acceptance, celebration of all that I am at this moment~ all I can be and all that I can share here and now.

So it is with Bala and Kate, these new people who have soared into my life unexpectedly, who have come to me and I to them in this moment that our whole lives have brought us to. This moment that will dissolve into the next moment, and we will be new again. Our whole lives, all of our lives, have brought us to this time, these connections, these lessons of living and loving.

And isn’t it ever so simply, in all its complexity and mystery, about love. The water loves - in its passion and fury and calm, the stars love in their play of light and constancy, the moon loves in her rhythm of push and pull, and the sun with his heat that burns and nourishes.

And we make love in every moment, but we forget and mask the love because we fear we will be burned, that we can’t be constant, that our fury will shadow our calm, that our natural rhythms will stand in too stark contrast to this artifice we call time. And all we do is hurt ourselves and each other, when underneath, always, is this love - this light in all of us that shines brighter still when we share it.